I thought moving away from this place would solve all my problems; would make up for all the unreturned phone calls,
Horrible parking jobs,
Unseat letters to friends who only wanted to stay in touch,
Apologies to people who hurt me first,
But you can’t move from one place to another and not expect your failures to follow you,
Because the only thing that washes you clean is the rain you weren’t expecting. This town is full of people I fell in love with at first sight;
I can count them on both hands,
If I forget about my toes.
I’m pretty sure I’m a sinner and I’ll probably sin again,
And even though I have two failed relationships under my belt and can’t commit to clearing my snapchat history let alone another person,
At least I know that there is a difference between the love you feel for a friend and the love that keeps you warm at night,
You think you’re a well-traveled soul, but the only thing you know about women is the part that brings you pleasure and the part you love the most,
And they’re the same part.
I needed to hear from someone that I would be okay,
But instead I said it five times facing the mirror, as if the ghost of my former self would appear and shame me for having sex with the intent to make someone stay,
And expecting that to actually work.
But the room stayed empty,
And you still haven’t called,
But you know who has?
The friends I ignored.
Sometimes we find love from the people around us and from deep within a spot we always assumed would remain vacant,
Sometimes the universe is so against two people being together but it takes years to see it from the outside looking in, and when you finally catch a glimpse you see that there is more to love than asking to be loved,
Than showing your beating heart to the first person who demands to know it’s keeping you alive.
I think that is the true definition of moving on.